Dave Barry Gives Us Face Cramps

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- I counted about 1200 facial cheeks on the brink of spasm as humorist Dave Barry shared all that he knew about specialized information publishing to an audience of SIPA members at the Mayflower yesterday.

Recipient of the Pulitzer Prize in 98, Barry told us about how he moved to Miami from the United States, and takes umbrage when all people talk about is the violence there. He said those people just make him want to kill them. Continuing his insights on niche publishing, he recounted a story about a man who drove his car onto an airport runway, right up to a plane on the tarmac. "I can't get within ten feet of a plane with a bottle of shampoo, but this guy pulls up with a Chevy Cobalt," Barry said.

In a lesson for learning your lesson, Barry shared the story of his dog Ernest and his backup replacement dog Zippy, who knew very well to wait at the screen door of his screened-in porch before romping out into the backyard. The pair always waited patiently for Barry at the screen door, then exited. Wait, open, exit. But when Hurricane Andrew blew the screened-in porch away, everything but the screen door, the dogs STILL waited at the screen door. He could not get them to exit any other way. Somehow there is a lesson in there for traditional niche publishers who insist on clinging to old business models, but it just wouldn't be funny.

Going on with more wisdom about niche publishing, Barry told us about his witty conversation starters with former First Lady Barbara Bush ("Jeb is very tall."), about how America is the leader in the manufacture of Oscar Meyer Weiner Car technology (and how he understands Iran is developing similar capability), and how the drivers in Florida bring a unique blend of creativity and aggression to their driving ("They will pass you in a car wash.")

Dave was the keynote speaker for the Specialized Information Publishers Foundation editorial and marketing awards, and a welcome addition to our conference!