So there I was, having dinner at Shun Lee Palace on East 55th Street in New York with actor Robert Wagner, actress Heather Graham and publisher Ira Mayer. Bob was on his fourth Scotch rocks and Heather was up in arms over Beijing’s recent limitations on reincarnation. “How can they tell you how, when and where to reincarnate?! They are requiring monks to have prior permission! It’s madness!”
I had to change the subject since, apparently, in China they love Wagner’s old TV show, Hart to Hart, and Bob gets some good royalties from all that. I thought a rousing discussion of internet business models would shake things up, and Ira enthusiastically joined in.
“So, how do you know when to give away your content so you can generate enough traffic to support an ad revenue business?” I asked. “Everyone seems to be doing it.”
Surprisingly, Heather, who was scanning the menu for vegetarian fare, had a lot to say on the subject. “I think some content should be fee based, while other content has the legs for advertising,” she said, sneering at the Peking Duck.
Bob pointed to his empty Scotch glass with enough exaggeration so the waiter could see from 30 feet away, and said, “What the Hell are you talking about, Heather? These guys produce high-end, must-have content that their readers would die without. They need to squeeze every nickel out of them!”
“And someone needs to squeeze out a Tic Tac for you,” she said. “Look, all I am saying is it’s up to business people to work the numbers,” she sketched in the air, looking at Ira. “Did anyone ever tell you you look like Jimmy Caan?”
“No, Ira said, but I do occasionally steal silverware.”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind,” Ira said, “tell me more about this formula of yours.”
“Well, if you have a small but intense readership, say 500 or so, and they must have your content, then you’re probably looking at fee-based stuff. But if you have 20,000-50,000 readers and they really like your content but can live without it, then you have an ad model on your hands.”
I had to chime in. “But what if you gave away your content. How might you know that your free access wouldn’t draw three or four times the numbers on the Web, giving you the traffic you need? Then you would have an ad model, right.”
“Oh for crying out loud where is my Scotch!” Bob shouted.
“It’s in your hand,” Heather said.
Ira, normally calm as a house cat, became agitated and unsheathed his chopsticks (he brought his own). “I completely disagree, and can cite examples.”
“Well smell you.”
“Bob, please shut up,” Heather commanded. “Go ahead, Ira.”
“Thank you. Well, there are people with highly valuable must-have content and VERY small audiences . . . numbering in the hundreds . . . that have pure ad supported newsletters. Take Owen Taylor’s free California Garlic & Onion Report. It has had an advertiser for years and it doesn’t have a massive readership, as you might guess.”
“Ira,” Heather chimed in. “I was just talking to Owen and he said he dropped that report. Apparently the U.S. garlic industry was hit pretty hard by, coincidentally, Chinese garlic imports. I believe you’re talking about his cotton report, which has had the same advertising sponsor for 17 years! In fact, he has never sold a subscription. He just makes sure he finds the exact people sponsors want to reach, and then gives them info they can’t get anywhere else, and faster than anyone else.”
I had to change the subject since, apparently, in China they love Wagner’s old TV show, Hart to Hart, and Bob gets some good royalties from all that. I thought a rousing discussion of internet business models would shake things up, and Ira enthusiastically joined in.
“So, how do you know when to give away your content so you can generate enough traffic to support an ad revenue business?” I asked. “Everyone seems to be doing it.”
Surprisingly, Heather, who was scanning the menu for vegetarian fare, had a lot to say on the subject. “I think some content should be fee based, while other content has the legs for advertising,” she said, sneering at the Peking Duck.
Bob pointed to his empty Scotch glass with enough exaggeration so the waiter could see from 30 feet away, and said, “What the Hell are you talking about, Heather? These guys produce high-end, must-have content that their readers would die without. They need to squeeze every nickel out of them!”
“And someone needs to squeeze out a Tic Tac for you,” she said. “Look, all I am saying is it’s up to business people to work the numbers,” she sketched in the air, looking at Ira. “Did anyone ever tell you you look like Jimmy Caan?”
“No, Ira said, but I do occasionally steal silverware.”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind,” Ira said, “tell me more about this formula of yours.”
“Well, if you have a small but intense readership, say 500 or so, and they must have your content, then you’re probably looking at fee-based stuff. But if you have 20,000-50,000 readers and they really like your content but can live without it, then you have an ad model on your hands.”
I had to chime in. “But what if you gave away your content. How might you know that your free access wouldn’t draw three or four times the numbers on the Web, giving you the traffic you need? Then you would have an ad model, right.”
“Oh for crying out loud where is my Scotch!” Bob shouted.
“It’s in your hand,” Heather said.
Ira, normally calm as a house cat, became agitated and unsheathed his chopsticks (he brought his own). “I completely disagree, and can cite examples.”
“Well smell you.”
“Bob, please shut up,” Heather commanded. “Go ahead, Ira.”
“Thank you. Well, there are people with highly valuable must-have content and VERY small audiences . . . numbering in the hundreds . . . that have pure ad supported newsletters. Take Owen Taylor’s free California Garlic & Onion Report. It has had an advertiser for years and it doesn’t have a massive readership, as you might guess.”
“Ira,” Heather chimed in. “I was just talking to Owen and he said he dropped that report. Apparently the U.S. garlic industry was hit pretty hard by, coincidentally, Chinese garlic imports. I believe you’re talking about his cotton report, which has had the same advertising sponsor for 17 years! In fact, he has never sold a subscription. He just makes sure he finds the exact people sponsors want to reach, and then gives them info they can’t get anywhere else, and faster than anyone else.”
“Oh,” Ira said, “so it’s cotton, not garlic.”
“Speaking of which, you might try the Whole Sea Bass Braised in Hot Bean Sauce,” I suggested.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Bob spat.
“It’s roasted in garlic and scallions,” I said, looking at Heather for approval, which I didn’t get.
Ira kept going. “For a small publisher with a narrow but highly interested audience, getting ad revenue from someone who also wants to reach that niche can be meaningful. And getting a ton of traffic for free content as a result can drive sales of other services you might offer. So my point is . . .”
“You had a point?” Bob chimed in, earning a chilly stare from Heather, who picked up the point.
“Yes, Ira,” she said, “I agree, and like I was about to say an hour ago, it’s up to smart businessmen like you to test test test to see what will drive the best profits.”
“And sitting around talking about it won’t get the job done,” I said, contributing nothing at all of substance.
“Where the Hell have you been?” Bob said.
“I was sitting here the whole time,” I replied.
“You wouldn’t know it.”
“You need to test test test,” Heather repeated. “You need to bake in a different mix of personnel. I mean, you will need ad sales people, and I mean internet ad sales people. And you need to optimize the Hell out of your site. But since it’s free, you can always take it back! Also, if you have 20 products that have 500 readers each, you need to look at a way you can drive all those users through one place so you can create a funnel of traffic that would appeal to advertisers.”
“So you might have a hybrid model,” Ira said.
“Exactly,” Heather replied.
“Good gravy Marie are you people are boring!” Bob exclaimed. “I have talked to Cheese Doodles more interesting than you! Is this what you do all day? What do you say we get some Moo Shu and a couple dozen egg rolls to go and eat it on my boat?”
“NO!” we all said at once, and placed our orders.
Bob started with another Scotch, and bristled when they refused to bring him prime rib, so he sulked and ordered the Mandarin Steak, which he later admitted he loved, begrudgingly.
Heather had the Baby Eggplant, Szechuan style, of course.
Ira and I wanted the Beggar’s Chicken but they required 24 hours notice, so I ordered the Prawns on Banana Leaves, thinking the Chicken with Three Different Nuts was a little too on the nose.
Things went well until our entrees came and they accidentally gave Ira my prawns. Ira is deathly allergic to prawns. The EMTs were prompt and very nice. Heather gave them her autograph. Bob headed for the bar when Ira’s head achieved the circumference of a pumpkin. He is fine now but let me warn you, he is very touchy about Jack-O-Lantern jokes.
Editor’s note: I was hoping I wouldn’t have to say this, but our attorneys wanted me to make it clear that this is a work of fiction. "Any resemblance between these characters" and all that. Counsel thought it was misleading to make you think I knew famous people so I need to add the following statement: I have never met Ira Mayer. And Robert Wagoner is really a nice guy.
